Thursday, August 13, 2015

What about Socialization?

What about socialization? I always want to answer, "We don't do that. We like our children wild and untamed" or some other smart-mouthed answer. I have to stop and think where these people are coming from. Some people are asking out of curiosity, not to be insulting or degrading. Not that I haven't been asked from the insulting and degrading side. It has happen, sometimes I have not been the bigger person and engaged. I'm not perfect.

The Mister and I had noticed that it was a certain age that was constantly asking us the question of socialization. I decided to poll some homeschool groups on which age group where they most getting the question asked from. This being my first poll and I learned a lot from it. This is how I broke the ages into: A) 25 and under B)26 to 35 C) 36 to 50 D)51-65 and E) 66 and Up. I realized I should have broke up the ages a little differently but I still got a good idea. The results reenforced our thoughts.

My results should equally the 36-50 age group and the 51-65 age group were the ages the poller's got the question asked from. Here is the comment we got from one poller:
"Back when I was growing up(60 & 70's), the only people I can remember were very strange. The kids were odd, the parents were odd. Usually, they were the ultra, ultra religious conservatives or hippies in communes. And actually, there was only a smattering of homeschoolers around. And I think that was what everyone believed about homeschoolers at the time.  So I don't think that a lot of people in my generation realize that homeschooling is different now. And they don't realize how many thousands actually do it."
 My Aunt and Uncle homeschooled my cousins when I was growing up. They are conservative Christians, and I honestly thought them weird at times. As they grew up, they became people that went from weird to wonderfully, unique individuals. My Aunt and Uncle went from crazy to people I deeply admire.  They opened the idea of homeschooling me. I do remember conversations floating around questioning somethings they did, but never about socialization. The conversations all came from love. That side of my family shows love all the time. I love those peeps.I have had questions from another side of my family, and also from extended family. Here is one question: I will post what I thought I heard and maybe got a little defensive and then what was said that I still find offensive.
"Will your kids be able to work at Walmart as a cashier?" was what I thought I heard
This is what my husband says was said,
"Will your kids be able to interact with a Walmart cashier as they check out?" 
Remember, I'm not perfect and may or may not started listing things that we do. Remember, not perfect.  Of course, when we polled, we did have people say they had the most questions were, in fact, family members asking. They were more likely more to be more accusatory toned questions than curious.

I started righting this blog a few weeks ago. I saved it as a draft, and we have been living life. We have been going here and there for school things, we have been learning how to build things, and don't forget those interactions at the Wal-Mart checking lanes. We did this, while doing our regular school work.

During this time, I came across some mothers and their son who when we pulled from public school were in the same ship as ours. This is what they observed and was told: I'm being totally honest, and I did cry at home in the dark of my room for these boys. They had to have soothing music played to keep calm. The mother's both said this also, the boys were experience more melt downs, and could hardly be anywhere without having one.(mind you, we were in Walmart: I may need to cut down on these trips to Walmart .lol) The other said Basically the same things and we were at a back to school
celebration thing.(This mother had other children) They were trying to reduce his melt downs by exposing him to socialization. Both boys kept turning around and were on edge the whole time. They both had been bullied. I made other observations, but I don't want to write forever on this.

Then my son walks up, he had gone to the bathroom. On the way back had helped a elderly lady get something, he explained. He Politely says hello and ask how they are. He is smiling and having remembered on of the boys liked jokes, tried telling him one. The mother said he hardly talks anymore. The mother's ask if he likes homeschooling and he goes on to explain his life, again smiling. The contrast was amazing.

I will admit there are times when my kids are watchful and don't feel comfortable talking to the person. They were like that before we withdrawn from public school. You can't turn an introvert into an extrovert. You can teach coping skills but in the end underneath them is the same nature.. So, basic human nature should be withdrawn from this part of the What about socialization question.

One day, I  will write about Our son and our journey with him. My daughter has her own journey.  I will one day write her story and the amazement of her life. I didn't want to trash schools because I have seen the caring in the teachers and other school staff. I just wanted to point out that the argument doesn't hold up that public schools are good for socialization.

My kids and husband are away for the day.  I have heard what they are doing. They probably won't get any socialization in. You know we like them wild and untamed. lol

I'm playing the part of hermit today. I'm hoping with the quiet in the house my turtle will lay her eggs. I got your curiosity? Well, we will have a blog for that.

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